This week, the most of the girls make paltry donations to charity by skimming the worst of what they brought on this show. In contrast, this guy with his pink ribbon…
…is clearly giving us his best.
We begin this week’s You’re Cut Off! on a sour note: the girls are scandalized over Laura rewarding Hana with VIP. Of Hana, Marcy says, flat-out, “She deserves to get hit by a bus.” Yes, those definitely sound like the words of someone who deserves to be rewarded for her behavior. Way to show Laura, Marcy! Other girls decide that in Hana’s case, VIP stands for “Viciously Ignorant Princess.” With all of the chatter Hana’s set off, though, the “I” should at least stand for “inspiring.”
The girls receive a note that says the skills they learned will be taken to a whole new level in their lesson. They come to find out that it’s taking place at a construction site…
…so I guess the note was referring to the way the girls have been hammering away at each other?
Anyway, this prospect is met with much trepidation:
…and also with a guy, Dave, who’s in a cowboy hat with a pink bow:
The cowboy hat says “macho…”; the bow says “…with a twist and a kiss.” Speaking of that, kind of, the girls are given hard hats, which Marissa hates.
She says she feels butch, which is her worst nightmare coming true because “it’s unnatural.” I can’t tell if she’s speaking for herself or generally. If it’s the latter case, she’s a sandwich board away from a Westboro Baptist Church protest.
After testing the girls physically…
…(if you consider using a nail gun “physical,” which these girls certainly do), and mentally, Dave chooses Marcy as the foreman because she can do fractions (it is perhaps unsurprising that this is a distinguishing factor among this group). Laura soon makes an appearance in a hard hat of her own…
…to tell the girls that this week, they won’t just be building — they’ll be giving back, too. They’re putting a house together for Habitat for Humanity. The girls like this. “Even though I don’t look good, I feel good inside,” says Marissa, as though it’s a revelation. Meanwhile, Nadia states, “I love Habitat for Community. It’s my favorite,” as though it isn’t a revelation and is a completely reasonable thing to say. Different strokes, I guess!
Joanne, a Habitat employee, is introduced and she has the girls change into Habitat-specific hard hats, like her own…
So much head activity going on this episode! And they don’t seem to be anywhere near Hollywood Boulevard. How weird. They also change into shirts, which offer Marissa some solace:
“At least it’s pink. At least I’m distinguishing myself as a woman and not butch,” she says. Now she just sounds paranoid. She’s so afraid of being called “butch,” and she’s the only one who’s saying the word! Seriously, did you for a second consider holding Marissa’s uniform against her or think it was a reflection of…anything?
Anyway, Marcy gets right to the bossing around, insisting that Jessica’s helmet be tightened…
…and scolding Hana about being goofy after she makes a joke about not screwing in reverse. Hana interviews that Marcy needs to stop throwing her weight around. Eh, a little obvious there. I don’t even think that counts as wordplay. It’s like wordrest.
Meanwhile, Nadia has interesting ideas about how math works that Lauren isn’t buying. She always did strike me as a sensible shopper! Meanwhile, Hana insists on carrying a giant board around by herself, despite it being a two-person job.
After much bickering, Marcy she she has to let Hana go. She says Hana isn’t taking the job seriously and is a safety hazard. Maybe, but clearly there are tragic consequences to taking the job too seriously, as Marcy exemplifies. “I’d punch Marcy in the mouth, but I’m afraid she’d eat my fist,” interviews Hana. They don’t call it a knuckle sandwich for nothing.
All of this petty chatter falls to the wayside when they meet Betty, whose house they’re building.
“Having a home is really important for me and my kids,” says Betty. Not to be rude toward the needy, but duh, lady. Again: another non-revelation. Lauren says she’s embarrassed because of all the fighting that went into the construction — she says the house wasn’t built with love. The girls kind of make up for that by signing some beams.
At home, the girls find that their luggage is waiting for them in the living room.
This pleases them so:
Jessica makes like she’s a yorkie and they’re a long-lost lap.
After busting in on a middling impression of herself from Marcy, Laura explains to the girls why they’re getting their stuff back: they are to donate $1,500 worth of things to help buy a playhouse for Betty’s son and a laptop for her daughter. The girls get to sorting their stuff with guidelines that what they donate must be clothes and shoes that are fashionable and/or in season.
Aimee hems and haws, and Marissa balks — she says Aimee’s drama doesn’t make sense because her clothes are shabby and look like hand-me-downs. Yeah. More hot-pink external shoulder pads on Aimee, stat! Meanwhile, Jessica pulls out a pair of Pepto-colored Louboutins and says that they will be the extent of her contribution.
Lauren decides she’s going to give a ring she received for a since-broken engagement (what a chump the guy was for not getting it back — he could have at least taken her on Judge Judy to do so).
“It doesn’t matter because next time I get engaged, it’ll be way bigger anyways,” says Lauren, just in case you mistook her donation as generosity, I guess?
When the girls get down to comparing their donations, the sparkly red dress from the Swap Meet is brought up. Hana hates that idea, and kind of lords over everyone with her hatred, as she’s VIP. She also rejects a bathing suit with a wrap that Marcy wants to donate. Hana’s basic philosophy is that the buyers won’t take them seriously if they present a big pile of crap. Everyone else seems to be of the throw-everything-against-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks philosophy. Intelligence and s*** smells are bickered over. Aimee screams at Hana for picking and choosing. So starts a battle. Hana picks up one of Aimee’s offerings and says, “What’s this?” Aimee says, “It’s a shirt, bitch.” Hana throws it at her.
“Throw something else at me!” says Aimee. “Don’t call me a bitch,” yells Hana. “Bitch, bitch, bitch,” Aimee retorts. Ah, the spirit of giving. Everyday can be just like Christmas, it turns out, when you’re feeling charitable. I mean, isn’t this just like Christmas with your family?
Anyway, the fight ends without a maiming. The girls are shuttled to a Pawn Shop, where they’ll do their trading. They pull up and they’re like, “Seriously?”
Seriously. They’re not even treated to the downmarket (for them) vibe of a consignment shop. That would be straight-up opulent compared to what they face.
The workers are hard-asses, too, as they dole out a pittance for the few things they actually want to buy — $3 here, $6 there, $8 rarely. When they get to the Swap Meet dress, the woman straight up laughs at it and calls it scary.
Hana’s like, “I told you so.” And that she did. Lauren is surprised to find out that her ring had real diamonds in it. I wonder if that piece of information came with a pang of regret. Anyway, after what seems like much ado…
…the girls are still short of their $1500 goal. The woman in charge starts trying to get the girls to give the clothes and accessories off their backs, to no avail. Jessica refuses to give up her glasses or jacket or clutch, reasoning that the $300 her shoes fetched was plenty.
Getting $300 at that place seems like getting a diamond from between a pair of butt cheeks, no matter how loose or uptight their owner. Marissa refuses to give away Chanel boots, reasoning, “I give a lot throughout the year.”
Hana sells her sunglasses after much deliberation with no one ponying up goods.
Marcy’s surprised, as Hana’s glasses are four seasons ago. I guess that gives them a vintage appeal? Nadia gives away her chain for $60, while Hana gives away a ring for $20. After a lot of this, they finally reach their goal.
Laura comes out to tell them that only three can receive this week’s reward and Hana will choose them. Hana picks Nadia, Lauren and herself because, duh, they sacrificed the most. In the losers’ car, Marissa rants that, “Hana being in charge is delirious.”
I don’t think she means that, because, let’s be honest, what does it mean? I don’t know, maybe Marissa’s raising has rendered her articulate beyond my comprehension.
It turns out that the winners will get to present Betty and her kids with the fruit of their donations:
And so, they do…
…and everyone is moved by it.
The fact that giving is enough of a reward to satisfy these girls says a lot about their progress, no? They’re losing the strings and becoming real girls before our eyes!
Before group, the girls who are not Hana complain about Hana. Jessica dares someone to wear the Swap Meet dress to group ? Aimee will do it. And so she does:
Laura asks what’s with the dress and Aimee explains the disagreement over it. Hana says it wasn’t theirs and didn’t come in their bags. Laura thinks Hana’s assessment is fair and bespeaks the essence of the lesson. “Sitting before me in a red dress that you got at a swap meet that you didn’t pay for with your own money is mocking me and is mocking this lesson,” is how she scolds Aimee. Well, that didn’t go over well.
Laura polls the girls on the nature of sacrifice. Jessica thinks sacrifice is giving something up that you don’t necessarily need but that you have. Laura asks Jessica about her sacrifice: a pair of shoes. Marcy thinks that given the volume of Jessica’s luggage, she could have donated more. “My grandmother who has cancer bought me that jacket and I’m not giving it up!” is Jessica’s rationale for not donating anything else. Marcy, who is apparently running things now, thinks that if everything has a sentimental value attached, it’s a separate rehab. As if she’s all ready to check in, Jessica flees the group:
In the bathroom, she tells a cameraman, “Get out of here!” It is at this point, of course, when any reality cameraman goes in for a zoom.
While Jessica’s preparing for her close-up or sniffling or whatever, Laura says the lesson is about emotional attachment to material items. Jessica rejoins the group and says, “People have their emotional ties to things and you can’t say that’s good or bad.” Actually, that’s exactly what Laura can say.
Jessica thinks she did her “best” at the challenge. Laura says, “I see too much in you to pretend that was your best. I won’t pacify you like that.” Jessica has, obviously failed. Marissa, Aimee and Marcy have, as well. The winners of the challenge have won and VIP goes to Nadia.
I, for one, hope it goes to her head and she starts spouting all kinds of knowledge. All talk, all Nadia is what I want in life.
Marcy is flabbergasted that she failed and Hana received recognition. There is a screaming match that even includes a little, “Talk to the hand” action.
But lest you think Marcy is enslaved to all of yesteryear’s sassy cliches, this is not her final answer: she interviews, “My blood is boiling, and I do not trust Laura. Fail me again and see what happens.” It’s worth doing just to see how empty that threat is…or, more excitingly, isn’t.
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